I may have traumatized a first time mother in Babies R Us...

   So, I headed in to Babies R Us to exchange some car seats for belt boosters.  I had been putting it off forever, and the car seats were still sitting downstairs in their boxes.  Mike and I decided that boosters for the Camry would be plenty, and would also give us a better chance of fitting the third car seat in the smaller car.  A compromise, since I had originally purchased four matching car seats after our accident this summer.  The kids hardly ever ride in the Camry, but I prefer that both cars are always prepped to carry the children.

    After I lugged both of the ginormous car seats inside, and completed the return process, I ventured over to the car seat section to pick out the booster seats I wanted.  The bonus, I was left with an additional $250.00 credit after the replacement seats were purchased.  Bonus...especially since my infant car seat is technically expired and a little worn after four kids.  (Only two were mine, but I purchased the seat used from a family friend who had also already used it for 2 kids before mine.)  So I was wandering around the travel system section, checking out what we could afford with our bonus money.  As all experienced mommies know, the only people in the travel system section are the new mommies.  Because the rest of us should already have that stuff.  And there she was.  This sweet, young thing with her registry scanner and her husband in tow.  I couldn't even see a tummy...she is either very early or one of those lucky women that hardly shows.  Who knows??  Maybe she is adopting or using a surrogate.  I try to keep an open mind.  I pull down a travel system that looked mid price range, and was a brand I have used in the past.  She walked up, and our conversation went a little something like this...


New Mommy "Oh...you want to look at this one (pointing to another stroller), it was rated much higher in consumer reports, and it is even a little cheaper.  The one you are looking at is lighter weight and folds much easier, but that actually concerned me a little..."
Me "OK, I haven't really done a lot of research.  This is my third, I just need to replace our old infant seat.  However, I have to admit, the light weight and easy fold really appeal to me..."
New Mommy "Ahhh yes, since this is my first, I have had plenty of time to research."
Me (playing with the stroller) "Yes, yes you have..."
New Mommy "Aren't you afraid that it folds so easily, it might fold up while the baby is in it."
Me "Yeah...this is my third.  No, it doesn't worry me at all.  In fact, the quick fold means I have more time to grab the other two before they do something crazy like run into the street.  And even if it did fold up while the baby was in there, I would probably just apologize to the little one, and move on..."
New Mommy (staring at me like I have two heads) "oh..."
Me "Trust me, you will learn all of this stuff eventually.  We were all a little scared with the first one, and then you learn how to actually function and survive, and still be safe."

    She wandered off, and I continued to check out the strollers.  I had to laugh as I am sure I horrified her a little.  The next thing I knew, they were back.  She asked me which window shade I used, and I cringed as I admitted that I had never used one.  I explained my windows were tinted, and that the kids never complained, but I pointed to one two pack, and said they would be sufficient.  Then she asked about mirrors in the car to see the babies.  I said I used one the first time, but it was broken the second time, so I never used one with Molly.  I pointed out that it was pretty easy to tell how she was feeling.  She screamed when she was hungry or angry, and when she was happy, she didn't.  No mirror needed :)  I warned her her that the vast majority of this stuff was extra.  She seemed surprised, but willing to listen.  I simply smiled as I headed off to the register.  As I was leaving, I shouted back..."oh, by the way, you don't need the wipe warmer either.  And keep all of your receipts.  That way you can bring this extra stuff back when you need diapers and wipes and food..."

How do you forget you are naked??

This morning's pre-bus stop conversation...

Me "OK Molly, Mommy will be right back. I just need to walk Colin to the bus stop. You stay here and watch Diego."
Molly "Awww, I want to come too."
Me "Mommy doesn't have time to get you dressed too Molly. Just stay here and watch a few minutes of Nick Jr."
Molly "But Mommy, I want to come too. I can walk up in my jammies."
Me "Ummmm, Molly. You are naked. You have to at least have jammies on to walk to the bus stop."
Molly (looking down, and seemingly surprised to find herself naked) "OK...I guess I will stay here."

This girl is hilarious  How do you forget you are naked??

O...M...G!!! Guess Who's Having Baby Number Three!!!

That's right...you heard it here.  Baby Bryan #3 is on it's way :) Feb 18th, 2014

    Yup, you read it correctly.  This mommy is expecting baby number three.  We are mildly surprised, but mostly excited.  These sweet kiddos have no idea what is really coming :) But that's OK.  I am sure that this third kid will fall right into the insanity that we call daily life.  And now, the other mommies out there understand why I took the summer off from writing.  I have been in a brain dead, first trimester coma...I swear.  The pregnesia, placenta brain, whatever you want to call it is 100 times worse this time.  All I wanted to do this summer was lay down and sleep...ALL...DAY...LONG.  Like pregnancy narcolepsy. Sadly, writing and attempting to be funny fell quite to the back burner.  I am perking up, starting to look pregnant, and hopeful for this new phase of life for our family.  While I can hardly believe it is happening, and I really can't imagine who will be joining our crazy little family, I know they will be adorable, perfect, and we will love them to pieces.  

"Mommy!!! Colin peed on me..."

  OK...So it is safe to say I have heard plenty of absurd things during my almost six years of parenting.  In fact, I have been forced to say some very absurd things.  This week has been no different.  There have been several phrases that have escaped my lips this week that I would have never guessed that I would need to say out loud...ever.  Things like "Molly, Do Not bite your toenails!" This was of course followed by a lengthy explanation of why that is considered "icky" and a simple reminder that Mommy has toenail clippers and I that would be happy to help.  I have always wondered why her toenails never seemed to need to be trimmed...
 
    I had to remind Colin that there is a fine line between tickling and torturing your sister.  He didn't agree.  He was confused by the lack of laughter.  I have pulled them off of each other, stopped multiple wrestling matches, and stopped what could only be compared to ultimate kid cage fighting.  They both look surprised when I say things like "Get off your sister!!" and "Your brother is not a horse, please get off his back."  I know they think I am ruining their fun, but I am simply intervening to prevent the inevitable tears.  And sometimes, I just let it happen.  Sometimes, I let them learn the hard way.  Perhaps the strong will survive??

   Of course nothing prepared me for the conversation we had this morning.  It went a little something like this...
Molly "Mommy, I have to go peepee."
Me "Well then go silly..." (cooking breakfast involving actual bacon which requires a great deal of concentration to avoid third degree burns on my face and hands)
Molly "OK"
Mike "Molly, why are you in the living room??  I thought you needed to go potty."
Molly "Oh yeah, I do need to go peepee." (running down the hallway to the bathroom)
Colin "I need to go peepee too Mommy."
Me "Well then go bud, what are you waiting on?" (still frying bacon and occasionally, quietly cursing at the pan)
Molly "Hey!!!!  Mommy, Colin peed on me!!!"
Me (stopped with bacon long enough to comprehend what was being said) "What??"
Molly "Colin peed on me and the floor, but not in the potty."
Me "Colin...come here please.  Did you pee on your sister?"
Colin "Ummmm, no. I peed on my sock and on the floor, but not Molly."
Me "Molly, did Colin pee on you?"
Molly "Yep."
Me "Colin, Molly says you peed on her. Why did you pee on your sister?"
Colin "Well, I needed to pee, and she was in the way."
Me (shaking my head) "Colin, we have to wait our turn for the potty.  If your sister is on the potty, you wait your turn, or use the other potty."
Colin "The other bathroom is the adult bathroom...not for kids."
Me "You are always allowed to use our bathroom Colin, especially if the other one is being used.  It is never OK to pee on your sister."
Colin "OK Mommy..."
Mike "Are you sure he peed on Molly??"
Me "Yeah, I don't think she made that up dear.  But why we ever needed to explain that one out loud, I will never understand..."


PS...Colin is rocking the Kindergarten thing :)  He loves it.  Molly is still a little lonely, but her school starts very soon.  Of course, if he keeps peeing on her, she might miss him a little less...

I know, I know...so I took the summer off. What can I say??

   These are my first posts in FOREVER...I can't believe how long I let it slide.  It's not like I haven't had things to say.  Tons of funny things have happened...of course, so has life, and it has kind of been rough this summer.  This mommy has been perpetually worn out.  My sweet Bear has been so sick all summer.  He had 5 positive Strep tests in less than 12 weeks.  So between an all you can eat buffet of antibiotics and fevers, we have been kind of off the radar.  We finished with a grand finale of having our tonsils and adnoids removed two weeks before school started.  Nothing like two weeks of post op recovery to finish off the summer.  We never made it anywhere for a vacation.  Never made it to the beach.  We barely made it into the pool between the illness and all of the rain...Dear God, the rain...
   
     Oh and of course, there was the idiot teenager that plowed into the rear end of our SUV while I was stopped at a light.  Wait, it gets better.  Not only did the kid admit he didn't realize we were stopped, he admitted to going 70 mph on a surface road...with lights.  Oh, and did I forget to mention that I was following Mike home since he had driven up separately for our evening out, and we were both stopped at said light, and then I hit Mike when the idiot hit me.  Oh, and both kids were in the car with me.  Awesome...We spent the next month car pooling and shopping for a new vehicle.  Also torture BTW.  There were days when I spent 4-5 hours in the car with the kids just driving everyone where they needed to go.  I was forever grateful when we finally found a van.

     The good news is that everyone is OK.  Despite the accidents, torrential rain, lack of summer fun, surgery, and school already being back in session.  Colin is still sweet and snuggly.  Molly is still wild and crazy with the best smile ever and still has a tendency towards being naked if you aren't watching her closely.  Speaking of.  She just casually walked into the kitchen and announced, "Mommy, do not go into your room.  You don't want to see what is in there."  I am sure she is right, but I better go see what she was up to while I have been writing.  God knows what that little one has done now...

  Despite the illness etc...we have managed to have some summer fun.  And here are some photos to prove it :)

Molly and our friend Josh on the Giant Ferris Wheel downtown

Colin and Molly 4th of Jul;y 2013

Colin at the Butterfly Festival

Colin at the Tellus Museum

Molly the Butterfly

Splash Pad fun

Today...today I am sad...

   Today, I did something that felt completely unnatural.  I walked my son to the end of our street, waited for a bus full of strangers, put him on it, and walked away.  I know this has been happening since the beginning of time.  I know that plenty of kids ride the bus every day.  I know he will survive and even thrive in Kindergarten.  But right now, I am just scared.  I am scared because of those sweet little frightened eyes that looked back at me like, "so, what do you mean you aren't coming too??" I am hurting for how confused he must be.  I know he made it, but a simple "hey, by the way, your son made it to school" phone call would be nice.  I wanted to drop him off...Daddy thought he needed to get used to the bus and see if he liked it.  I agreed it might be a good idea, but right now, I just want to run up the school, ask the office staff if he made it, and make sure he isn't still crying...Because I know I am.

   This isn't our first school experience. He has been in preschool since he was 2 y/o.  He loved it.  I dropped him off everyday.  I picked him up.  I knew the teachers.  I subbed when they needed help.  I was never far.  This is different.  This is too new.  I hope he is feeling better.  I hope he likes his new classroom.  I hope his teacher likes him, and that he makes lots of friends.  Right now, I just hope 2:15pm comes really quick.

 My sweet Molly is sad.  She wanted to go with Colin to big kid school.  This is their first year apart since she was born.  The two musketeers have been split up.  She made a rush for the bus, and I had to gently remind her that she was staying home with Mommy.  I promised her Mommy/Mollypalooza for the next three weeks until she starts back to preschool as well.  I have no idea what we are going to do today. Well besides getting a tag for the new van...I guess I better come up with something more exciting than the tag office, or she might have something to say about my idea of a good time.

   Just a few pictures from this mornings adventure.  As you can tell, He was perfectly happy until he realized he had to get on the bus without us.  I still want to know he is ok...I forgot his nap towel (What happened to nap mats?)  I wonder if they would mind if I dropped by, brought the towel and all of the school supplies I forgot at Open House??  I already know the answer.  I need to stay home.  Actually, I need to entertain my sweet little girl.  I guess I should go find something fun to do.  Try to make the best of the time I have with one child.  But there is a hole in my heart..I can't wait to hug my little dude at the end of the day.  Good Luck to all of my fellow mommies.  Hoping you all are handling it better than me :)

"What kind of parades do you take her to??"

   As I drive home from work this evening, I get a call from the husband.  Not unusual in itself, but the conversation that occurs kind of was.  It went some thing like this...

Mike "So, earlier I asked the kids to come to the kitchen for dinner.  I told them wash their hands, and then come to the table."
Me "OK..."(sounds pretty normal to me, not sure where he is going with this)
Mike "Well, Molly came out with wet, clean hands..."
Me (still not seeing the problem) "Good?? Isn't that what you wanted?"
Mike "She was also completely naked..."
Me "Ahhh, yeah, that happens a lot."
Mike "I know, but I thought I would ask her why this time."
Me "Well, what did she have to say?"
Mike "She said that the stuffed animals were having a parade, and you always have to be naked for a parade..."
Me "Huh??  That is odd even for her."
Mike "So I went back there, and sure enough, all of the stuffed animals were lined up for a parade."
Me "OK..."
Mike "My only question is, what kind of parades do you take them to?"
Me "Well, certainly not naked parades, I got nothin on this one babe.  No idea."
Mike "Where would she get an idea like that??  Has she seen a PRIDE parade?  I mean, I know there are "naked" parades, but it is hardly the norm."
Me "Who knows?  The girl just prefers to be naked.  Why not for a parade??"

   Something tells me this one is going to be challenging as a teenager...