"What do you mean, they take naps for you??"

   I mean, seriously, what did my husband expect when he told me this the other day?  "They take naps for me..."  I nearly jumped through the phone to choke him.  For months now, I have been mourning the loss of my afternoon quiet times.  I fought the good fight, but damn it, the little guys won.  I stopped even trying to make them nap, because it made my afternoon even more miserable than it needed to be.  Instead, I conceded defeat, and started making afternoon coffee to go with my morning coffee.  What else is a mommy to do??  Outside of drugging them into comas, I felt I had no other recourse but to accept that my babies were "too big" for naps anymore.  Did I think they still needed one?? Yes.  Did I think I still needed a couple hours to myself everyday?? Hell yes...So why in the world did my sweet husband have to point out this fabulous parenting inconsistency to me??  Secretly, I think he wanted to rub it in.  I mean, what man doesn't want to prove that Daddy is better than Mommy at something.  Maybe he was genuinely confused?  In fact, it seems that they have continued napping for daddy the majority of the time.  He simply tells them it is time, and they do it.  WTH??  I can perform the exact same motions, and nothing...He even asked me "I just don't understand why you don't make them nap anymore.  It is such a nice two hour break when I have them."  I was at work when he said this most recently.  I may or may not have let an expletive fly and hung up the phone.

     I came home from work at midnight that night, and walked into our bedroom.  Mike tried to continue the conversation.  I stared at him...why don't they get it??  Mike starts in "I think you should try to make them take naps again.  You could benefit from some me time."  Sure, you know, I just stopped because I wanted to.  Every mom loves to give up that precious two hours of quiet time.  He had to throw in "You know, they napped for Anne the other day when she was here."  I slept on the couch...I was following my mother's rule. "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."

    Later on that week, my friend Sandra kept the kids around nap time.  She says off hand..."You know, I think your kids could still use a nap.  They both seemed pretty tired this afternoon."  After receiving the "stink eye" she said "But I am sure you have tried everything..."

    This sparked a plan in my head.  If they nap for everyone else, by God, they are going to nap for me.  So I started with nap time again.  I have been presenting it as a non-option.  I think I was before, but I deserve some sleep too, dammit.  Both children are confused.  They have even let it slip as I leave for work "OK daddy, we will take a nap, because Mommy isn't here."  Uggghhhhh!!!  When did this become the rule?  I Will Succeed.  If Mike can do it, then I certainly can as well.  So nap time is back at the Bryan House,  and it is still one of the most frustrating times of the day.   They are not happy about "Operation Nap" being enforced.  Molly uses the potty as an excuse to keep getting up.  The first few days were horrible failures, and I gave up after over an hour of putting the kids back in their rooms.  The last two days did result in 30 minutes of "quiet time" from Colin and a 1.5 hr nap from Molly.  I suppose those could be considered successful.  Of course, today, Molly got up to pee twice, and I thought I heard little sneaky footsteps after that, but I was enjoying my time on the couch...in a horizontal position, with my eyes closed...wait just a minute...this is Molly we are talking about.  Maybe I should go check on where she is?

   I checked her room, no Molly...I checked Colin's room, no Molly...I checked the closets, no Molly...I checked my bed, no Molly.  At this point, I am starting to panic.  I want to call out her name, but if the little booger is asleep somewhere, I don't want to wake her up and miss my chance to enjoy it.  I look in both bathrooms, and I start checking under beds.  I finally checked under our bed.  I was greeted as usual by my cat Jerry.  He lives under the bed until about 9 pm.  The cat looked confused and on edge, and was eyeing the corner carefully.  I followed his gaze, and there she was.  Molly, asleep in a little ball under my bed.  I left her there, much to the cat's dismay.  The kid is napping, all be it in a ball under my bed.  Sure, I wanted to move her out of the dust bunny pit that is under my bed, but you never wake a sleeping baby, right??  I'll be damned if I let a silly thing like location rob me of my naptime success.