A car pool moment...

   Here I was, minding my own business, when God decided to hit me with a realization.  I was waiting to drop Colin off in car pool.  I watched him hop out of the car, explain where his sister was, and wave as he headed off to his class.  And right then, for some odd reason, I realized my babies are getting so big.  I started to tear up.  I literally cried on my way home.  I started to mourn the fact that my sweet constant companions of the last 4.5 years are going to leave me.  My sidekicks are growing up.  My Robins are going to leave their Batman.  In just a few short months, I register Colin Bear for Kindergarten.  Molly will be close behind.  They are becoming tiny little people right before my very eyes, full of personality, incredibly intelligent, and almost always funny.  I'm not ready...

     I'm not ready for them to go to school full time.  The car is too quiet when I drop them both off.  Yes, don't get me wrong, I enjoy some moments of silence, but the noise and chaos has become my norm.  These small people love me, and I love them so much.  Yes, they make me crazy, and occasionally drive me to drink, but imagining my life with no one around in a few years makes me sad.  I am not ready for this phase to end.  So get ready sweet babies...I am going to treasure every hug, every play date, every morning drop off, every preschool party, and every simple afternoon snuggle while watching Nick Jr.  Our days together are numbered, and I am not ready to let go.  I see why people just keep having babies, or at least space them out a little more.  My nest is going to be empty all too soon.

   I know I have years of fun and hugs ahead of us as a family, but this baby phase ending has caught me by surprise.  The big kid beds, the lack of diapers, the actual questions and conversations.  When did it all happen??  The cliches are all true parents.  Enjoy it while it lasts.  Hug your babies and treasure the moments.  Even the difficult ones.  Because all too soon, these babies become kids, and then teens, and then adults.  I may need another cup of coffee...Now, to pack a picnic lunch for a playdate after preschool, and to stop crying...

I not pretty, mommy....

  "I not pretty Mommy"...Words you never want to hear come out of your daughter's mouth, but that they did yesterday morning.  A horrible sense of panic set over me.  Where have I gone wrong?  What did I do?  What can I do to fix it?  She already has self esteem issues??  How does she not know she is the most beautiful girl in the world?  Well, let me set the stage for this conversation with my 3 y/o daughter.  I am standing at the sink in the bathroom, attempting to tame my hair into something that can be seen in public.

Molly "What are you doing Mommy?"
Me "Just trying to brush my hair so that Mommy looks pretty.  Now I need to brush your hair, so that you look pretty."
Molly  "No Mommy, I not pretty."
(Audible sound of my heart breaking while I simultaneously gasp)
Me "Yes you are sweet girl.  You are a very pretty girl."
Molly  "No, I not a pretty girl."
(I may have been near tears at this point while hugging my daughter)
Me "Yes, you are the most beautiful girl in the world."
Molly  "No, I not a pretty girl..." (Cue silly Molly grin from ear to ear) "I am a Pretty Princess, not a pretty girl..."
Me  (laughing, and hugging my sweet girl in relief) "OK, You are officially the prettiest princess of this house."

   You can't imagine how relieved I was to discover that this was far from a self esteem issue.  Of course, now I may need to work on taming her ego down just a notch...I mean, I know she is my princess, but she may become quite distressed when the rest of the world doesn't treat her this way.

Cute kid moments for the day...

  Cute moment number one.  I put the kids in the car, only to realize I had left the keys inside.  I ran inside to get them and returned to discover Molly roaring in her brother's direction...
Colin  "Mommy, Molly is roaring at me."
Me  "Sorry dude..."
Colin  "But Mommy, Molly is still roaring at me.  Make her stop."
Me  "What is it hurting bud??  She is just being silly."
Colin  "It's hurting my ears..."
Me  "Duly noted sir...Molly stop roaring please, you are hurting you brother's ears."
Molly  "ROAR!!!"
Me  "You had to see that one coming dude..."

  Cute moment number two.  Molly has started to really get into babies and dressing her dolls.  She carried them around, and she even attempted to dress the dog, much to the dog's dismay...On our way to a family movie night, she insisted on bringing her babies to "our picnic."  She picked two dolls, brought a separate blanket for them, and held them in the car.  She insisted that they have car seats as well, but I explained she was just going to have to share her seat with the dolls.  As we walked across the parking lot to the field for our movie night, she stopped in her tracks, a baby under each arm, and said, "Oh no Mommy, I need their stroller."  I have finally gotten to a stroller free point in my life, and now we need one for her dolls??

   Finally, after a fun evening out with our family, Colin says simply "Thank you for taking me to the movie at my school."  What an awesome thing to hear.  It is incredible to hear positive feedback from my little guys.  Not only do I know they had a great time, but it is nice to know that they are learning to be thankful and use great manners.  Maybe we are doing something right after all??

PS...Totally awesome moment this week as a mother.  Molly's teacher confessed that she has asked herself "What would Heidi do??"  Not only is this woman an incredible teacher and mom, she is super organized, and she has taught both of my children.  I have to admit, I am slightly flattered.  I am glad that my offbeat parenting style can inspire others at times.  When she told me this, I said "The answer is almost always have another cup of coffee or a glass of wine, and try to relax and remember that no matter what, it usually isn't as bad as it seems."

Car pool conversation...

   It all started with an audible toot in the back seat.  Normally, I wouldn't even call attention to it, except to point out that the culprit should say excuse me, but this morning, it sparked a little concern.  Molly had refused to go to the bathroom before we left the house, and I was more than a little afraid of accidents on the way.  Our conversation went something like this...

Me  "Molly, did you toot?"

Molly  "No...no mommy" (with a completely offended tone that is impossible to convey in writing)

Me  "Colin, did you toot?"

Colin  "No mommy...I think you tooted."

Me  "You can't blame it on me guys, I know I didn't toot."

Colin  "Yeah you did, you tooted." (giggles the entire time)

Me  "Are you guys sure you didn't toot.  Do you need to go to the bathroom?"

Colin  "OK, I didn't toot...It was just my butt doing a trick."

Me (Completely uncontrolled laughter)

Colin  "What's wrong mommy, why are you laughing?"

Me  "Because that was hilarious little dude." (Continued laughter)

Colin  "Well, I guess I tooted, but it is not nice to laugh Mommy"

Me  "I suppose you are correct Colin, but I think I liked your first explanation better."

The girl child...I have angered her

    The girl child...I have angered her.  This was the simple thought that crossed my mind as I attempted to please my youngest this morning.  Molly was not happy.  It all started with such a small thing.  She only goes to school MWF, and Colin goes M-F.  She does not like this arrangement...at all.  She should be where ever Colin is, no matter what.  Well, perhaps the doctor's office would be an exception.

    Every morning, my daughter proves she is more like me every day.  She is pleasant enough in the morning, if she wakes up on her own.  That is a very big "if."  So this morning, since it was a Thursday, I thought I would save myself the drama and trouble of getting Princess Grumpy Pants dressed.  I was only running Colin up to the school, and I would be right back, so I made the decision to leave her with daddy.  Molly sensed a disturbance in the Force.  Despite her overwhelming desire to stay in bed, Mommy and Colin leaving without her was simply not an option.  She clung to my pants as I was attempting to leave the house, crying dramatically "No Mommy, I go to school too.  No, I need my red bag.  I go with you and Colin."  I beg Mike to peel the parasite off my leg, but I realize quickly the effort will be futile.  I grab my bed head daughter who is still in her jammies and no shoes, and load her into the car.  By this time, I am running very late, and I am praying that will not have to complete the "Mommy Walk of Shame" in my lounge clothes with my shoeless 3 y/o on my hip in her PJ's.  I prayed the prayer I pray most mornings, "Dear Lord, get us to school safely, quickly, and before the car pool line shuts down. Amen."

    It is a simple prayer, but some mornings, the green cones give me the proverbial finger, and I have to hop out, and walk both children inside.  By some minor miracle, the car pool line was still in motion as I pulled into the church.  During the entire trip to school, Molly seemed to become aware of her current state, and the questions began.  "Mommy, where are my shoes??  Mommy, where are my clothes??   Mommy, I still need my red bag."  It was as if she was simply thinking..."Hey Lady, you are slacking off on the job.  What were you thinking letting me leave like this?" I truly believe this child would like to lodge a complaint with the manager about the service in this joint at times.  Sadly, she would be disappointed that the manager would still be me. Some days, I feel like a glorified barista. Both kids, sitting at the kitchen island, waiting on their mocha lattes, hold the coffee. I had to laugh.  Her final question, "Where are we going? I need clothes."  I reassured her we were headed home to do just that.  Of course, this was not before the director of the preschool stuck her head in my window to tell me how cute Molly was in class yesterday...So close, and yet so far.  I am sure I am not the first mommy to drive through the car pool line with her kids in jammies.

      The temper tantrums continued off and on all morning.  The start of the day seemed to set the tone for the remainder of the day.  I simply can not handle the whining all day, so I try to think like Molly, which actually means, think like me :)  What do I want when I am having a bad day??  So I let her have ice cream for breakfast.  Things started to improve from that moment on.  It is the simple things in life at times...

   On a completely different note, we finally put up the bunk beds for the kids.  They have slept in them for the last two nights without drama or injury.  Fingers crossed that it continues.  I am somewhere between wanting to cry and celebrate that the toddler beds are gone, and the children are finally potty trained.  No babies in this house anymore.  No more crib sheets, no more diapers.  It is a huge milestone for me for some reason.  Some one smack me before I start thinking I need another one...Oh, and if you thought changing a crib sheet was a pain, try the top bunk when you are only 5'2".  Colin of course wet the bed last night, and I got to experience the joy of changing the top bunk.  Lucky for Molly, I remembered the waterproof mattress covers.

Vampires in car pool??

  As I wrestled my children into their clothes and attempted to convince them that we needed to get into our vehicle, I realized Molly had wandered off...yet again.  This child is always in her own little world.  I looked through the whole house, calling her name, and I found her at the front door.  She was patiently waiting with her school bag, and a Costco size container of garlic powder and black pepper under each arm.  

Me  "Molly, give Mommy the garlic powder...I can assure you we will not be encountering any vampires on our way to school this morning.  Or any other members of the undead for that matter...No garlic will be needed"
Molly  "OK Mommy, here you go..."

   Things you thought you would never have to say...
 

"What do you mean, they take naps for you??"

   I mean, seriously, what did my husband expect when he told me this the other day?  "They take naps for me..."  I nearly jumped through the phone to choke him.  For months now, I have been mourning the loss of my afternoon quiet times.  I fought the good fight, but damn it, the little guys won.  I stopped even trying to make them nap, because it made my afternoon even more miserable than it needed to be.  Instead, I conceded defeat, and started making afternoon coffee to go with my morning coffee.  What else is a mommy to do??  Outside of drugging them into comas, I felt I had no other recourse but to accept that my babies were "too big" for naps anymore.  Did I think they still needed one?? Yes.  Did I think I still needed a couple hours to myself everyday?? Hell yes...So why in the world did my sweet husband have to point out this fabulous parenting inconsistency to me??  Secretly, I think he wanted to rub it in.  I mean, what man doesn't want to prove that Daddy is better than Mommy at something.  Maybe he was genuinely confused?  In fact, it seems that they have continued napping for daddy the majority of the time.  He simply tells them it is time, and they do it.  WTH??  I can perform the exact same motions, and nothing...He even asked me "I just don't understand why you don't make them nap anymore.  It is such a nice two hour break when I have them."  I was at work when he said this most recently.  I may or may not have let an expletive fly and hung up the phone.

     I came home from work at midnight that night, and walked into our bedroom.  Mike tried to continue the conversation.  I stared at him...why don't they get it??  Mike starts in "I think you should try to make them take naps again.  You could benefit from some me time."  Sure, you know, I just stopped because I wanted to.  Every mom loves to give up that precious two hours of quiet time.  He had to throw in "You know, they napped for Anne the other day when she was here."  I slept on the couch...I was following my mother's rule. "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."

    Later on that week, my friend Sandra kept the kids around nap time.  She says off hand..."You know, I think your kids could still use a nap.  They both seemed pretty tired this afternoon."  After receiving the "stink eye" she said "But I am sure you have tried everything..."

    This sparked a plan in my head.  If they nap for everyone else, by God, they are going to nap for me.  So I started with nap time again.  I have been presenting it as a non-option.  I think I was before, but I deserve some sleep too, dammit.  Both children are confused.  They have even let it slip as I leave for work "OK daddy, we will take a nap, because Mommy isn't here."  Uggghhhhh!!!  When did this become the rule?  I Will Succeed.  If Mike can do it, then I certainly can as well.  So nap time is back at the Bryan House,  and it is still one of the most frustrating times of the day.   They are not happy about "Operation Nap" being enforced.  Molly uses the potty as an excuse to keep getting up.  The first few days were horrible failures, and I gave up after over an hour of putting the kids back in their rooms.  The last two days did result in 30 minutes of "quiet time" from Colin and a 1.5 hr nap from Molly.  I suppose those could be considered successful.  Of course, today, Molly got up to pee twice, and I thought I heard little sneaky footsteps after that, but I was enjoying my time on the couch...in a horizontal position, with my eyes closed...wait just a minute...this is Molly we are talking about.  Maybe I should go check on where she is?

   I checked her room, no Molly...I checked Colin's room, no Molly...I checked the closets, no Molly...I checked my bed, no Molly.  At this point, I am starting to panic.  I want to call out her name, but if the little booger is asleep somewhere, I don't want to wake her up and miss my chance to enjoy it.  I look in both bathrooms, and I start checking under beds.  I finally checked under our bed.  I was greeted as usual by my cat Jerry.  He lives under the bed until about 9 pm.  The cat looked confused and on edge, and was eyeing the corner carefully.  I followed his gaze, and there she was.  Molly, asleep in a little ball under my bed.  I left her there, much to the cat's dismay.  The kid is napping, all be it in a ball under my bed.  Sure, I wanted to move her out of the dust bunny pit that is under my bed, but you never wake a sleeping baby, right??  I'll be damned if I let a silly thing like location rob me of my naptime success.