The Bryan Kids 2014

The Bryan Kids 2014

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

I don't want to be four...

Conversation with the kiddos...

Me "Molly do you know what today is?"
Molly "What?" (with excitement and enthusiasm)
Me "Today is your birthday!  Yay! Molly Bear."
Molly (smiling her huge smile) "It's my birthday."
Colin "You are four years old now Molly."
Molly "Nope, I three."
Colin "No, you are four years old now Molly.  I promise."
Molly (pouting) "Mommy, I don't want to be four, I want to be three again."
Me "I guess it starts early with women, huh?  Mommy says the same thing every year."
Colin "But Molly, you are four.  You are a big girl."
Molly (crying and sobbing)
Me "Just give the girl a minute bud, sometimes it is hard to accept for a few days."
Colin "But Mommy.  Molly is smart.  She knows her numbers.  She knows she is four."
Me "That doesn't mean that she has to like it...she deserves to have a little time to cry about it..."

The Jesus Kindle and other recurring phenomenons in my house...

   Besides death and taxes, a couple of things will always be true in my house.  If it is a plant, I will manage to kill it, despite my best efforts to keep it alive.  And if it is a piece of electronic equipment in my possession, it will die as well.  With no actual explanation, just croak.  I have killed TV's, laptops, computers, cell phones, countless house plants, and now...three tablets.  Why? I wish I could tell you.  I just know that this horrible phenomenon continues and that the electronic gods laugh in my face as I continue to push the power button and hold it down over and over again on my third, yes third tablet that refuses to come to life.
     It all started with my first Kindle Fire.  I was so happy.  I loved it.  I loved being able to read at night, and I loved the fact that it doubled as entertainment for the kiddos.  I found some great apps for the kids, and it was nice to check Facebook from the comfort of my bed.  So you can imagine my distress when it died right before it's one year birthday.  We called Amazon, and their helpful, apologetic staff had another one in the mail right away.  Ecstatic that luck was on my side, and it was still under warranty, I waited for my new tablet.  And then it happened...just four short months after getting the replacement, it died as well.  What are the chances??  I pouted, I sighed.  I begged for a replacement.  But my highly logical husband insisted that my new phone should be sufficient.  He said "It is much bigger than your old phone, just use it instead."  Not the answer I wanted.  Amazon had offered me a discount on the brand new Kindle Fire HD 8.9.  I drooled and hinted, but nothing...Mike offered to try and fix the second Kindle.  You see, it only had a three month warranty.  Perhaps it was a refurbished model.  But after my programmer husband spent a few nights with the broken device, he declared time of death, and said it was officially "bricked."  I couldn't bring myself to throw it away.  I set it next to my lap top.  My poor "book phone" as the kids called it.

    And then, the light at the end of the tunnel.  Mother's Day...what was I thinking? Of course.  He is waiting until Mother's Day.  My sweet sensible husband.  And sure enough, a package arrived on the doorstep just before Mother's Day.  I opened it to discover a brand new Google 7 inch tablet.  Sure, it wasn't the 8.9 inch Kindle Fire HD, but it was still a replacement for my beloved little friend.  He refused to purchase another Kindle after the untimely death of the two previous.  I charged it up, ordered a cute, girly cover, and placed it in the spot of honor next to my bed.  I actually liked it better.  A little more versatility with apps and such.

    And then it happened.  I was sitting at the lap top checking my e-mail, and I looked over to see the old Kindle light up.  At this point, it hasn't been plugged in in a couple of months.  I never touched it.  It just powered on by itself.  I showed the "critically low battery, plug in screen" to Mike. He shrugs, and said "Maybe you should plug it in?" I plugged it in, and as if nothing had ever happened, the tablet was working once again.  Like the Jesus of electronics, it was dead, and rose again.  What does Mike want to do??  He wants to send back the new tablet.  I shake my head violently.  Not my new toy.  I just got used to her and all of her cool apps.  And who knows how long the Kindle will stay working?  Maybe it will continue the resurrection process and continue on to be with God?  Besides, it was my little miracle tablet.  I should get to keep them both...even if that seems excessive.

    Well, the electronics gods agreed.  It was simply too much for me to own two functioning tablets.  Last night, in the middle of a serious round of Candy Crush, my new friend signed out on me as well.  Less than three weeks of ownership, and the new tablet has turned itself off, and will not restart.  As I sat troubleshooting with some one on the phone, I knew what was coming next.  Time of death 8:53 am, cause, gypsy cursed owner.  Yes, yes, it is still under warranty I am sure.  In fact, we may just be able to send it back in the thirty day window, but still...

    So as I left to take my son to the pediatrician today for his third case of strep throat in 6 weeks...also a recurring theme in my house...I grabbed the Jesus Kindle to entertain the kids.  I pushed the power button quickly just to check, and it was still working and fully charged.  While sitting in the office waiting for results, etc.  I brought the tablet out of the bag.  I pushed the power button, only to watch as the Kindle started the never ending start up loop of death.  Inside my head, I curse the electronic gnomes that are obviously screwing with me and sigh. A silent scream is echoing through my head.  Ugghhhhhh!!!!!  I suppose it was good while it lasted.  If only it had lasted through one more doctor's appointment...I guess it is back to the low tech world of bribing them with juice boxes and goldfish.  At least until the next replacement arrives. As I tell Mike about the death of the Jesus Kindle and how the IT gods continue to hate me, he replies, "Maybe the IT gods want us to actually talk and interact before bed instead of playing on tablets..."  Hmmm, maybe he has a point?


Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Breakfast conversation...

   As my friend Sandra's due date approaches, important things must be know, like last minute pedicures. So after car pool drop off, we hit a local nail salon, sat back, and enjoyed a little treat.  As we looked at our watches, we realized we might even have enough time for a quick breakfast as well.  We head over for an extremely classy breakfast at the local Waffle House.  It's the little things in life, like waffles, that make things better.  Sandra is ready to have this baby.  She wants it out.  She has served the eviction notice, but this kid has yet to oblige.  I have reminded her that they are much lower maintenance on the inside.  On the inside, they just make our clothes fit funny.  On the outside, they are much more demanding.  Of course, having a parasite(albeit a cute parasite) living inside you is far from comfortable at this point as well.  When the time comes, I am supposed to be her labor nurse.  When you are in the field, it is very important to line up your delivery team before hand.  Find people that you trust, like, and are pretty sure will  never mention your girly parts or their condition during labor ever again.  For this reason, I am on call for her delivery until it happens.  So here is how our discussion over the check for our break fast went...

(Waitress drops the check on the table, we both reach for it)
Me "Let me get this, I am sure I owe you one at this point."
Sandra "Yeah no, I am getting this one (snatches the check)"
Me (reaching for the check) "No, I should be spoiling you."
Sandra "You have to see my vagina soon.  I am pretty sure I owe you breakfast..."
Me "I didn't know that was a one for one exchange...Then again, that was kind of how it worked back in college..."
Sandra (laughing and shaking her head)
Me  "You know, if that is the case, there are a lot of women in the metro area that owe me breakfast..."

Mother's Day Reflections...

Mother's Day 2013

    I am really not sure when it happened...They aren't babies anymore.  Every cliche is actually true.  The fat little hands are disappearing.  They are long and lean.  They play pretend and have imaginary friends that live in Europe.  Luxembourg more specifically...  Leave it to my kid.  They have conversations, say insightful things, and give fabulous hugs, but they are no longer babies.  I am moving into a new phase of motherhood and I can't help but take a little time to mourn some of those sweet baby things.  Like the little fat rolls on their wrists and legs that I used to love to kiss and tickle.  Their baby hair is finally disappearing.  It is getting fuller and darker.  This month, my baby turns four.  Colin is headed to elementary school, complete with a Kindergarten evaluation.  I get to experience my first maternal test anxiety.  I want him to do well.  I want them to know how smart my little guy actually is.  I hope they can look past his quirks, like imaginary European friends, and see the wonderful, snuggley little guy that he is.  I hope he makes friends easily, and that this transition will be easier for him than me.  I am afraid...there, I said it.  I am afraid of him being gone all day.  I am afraid kids will be mean to him.  I am afraid that his teacher won't like him.  Why?  I have no idea.  He is an awesome kid.  He is going to do well, but yet, it is so hard to let go.  So hard to know that he will be with his teacher more than with me every weekday.  A natural progression, yes, but difficult none the less.

   My sweet little girl is so big and full of personality.  If I had to choose one word to describe her, it would be Happy.  Her smile is simply infectious.  There is no way to see it, and not smile back.  She is bubbly, fun, makes friends easily, and is super smart as well.  Not that I am partial or anything...She is determined and yet somehow seems to stay completely in her own world.  My fears for her are that she won't be able to focus like her brother.  Colin sits and performs tasks easily.  Molly is more like me.  Easily distracted by bright shiny objects or squirrels.  I hope with time, some of this trait fades, but I fear she will battle it her whole life. My fears for Molly are different.  I hope she always knows how beautiful she is, no matter what the tag in the back of her pants says.  I hope she learns to embrace her curly hair, and not fight it every day of her life.  I hope she learns to channel that big personality into success in her personal and career life.  I hope she continues to laugh and smile and be the comic relief for everyone around her.  I hope I don't pass on my insecurities...

   One more year...then they are both off to full time school.  I am moving on, and I didn't even realize it was happening.  On to the next phase of driving to soccer, ballet, band, whatever they choose.  Helping with homework that doesn't involve fingerpainting.  Today, today I am weepy.  My babies are growing up.  No more diapers, pacis, and bottles.  That is, unless I borrow one from a friend...sometimes those are the best kind anyway.  Onto answering questions, becoming a human thesaurus, and teaching them how to be awesome little kids.  Luckily, they seem to have a natural proclivity for that.  Bye bye toddlerhood, hello elementary school.  I have one last summer of them both to myself.  Get ready for extra snuggles, pictures, and playdate awesomeness.  Summer 2013, here we come.  Hug your babies.  Enjoy every minute, because time really does just fly.