Bad body day

   Today, I am sick of my body.  I hate the way I look.  I hate the fact that I have gained all of the weight back that I lost on Weight Watchers, plus two pounds.  In fact, as I stood on the scale for the last two days, those two pounds are giving me the proverbial finger.  I am frustrated, discouraged, and yet, what do I do?  I want to eat.  I am an emotional eater.  I eat sometimes just to make myself feel better, but right now, that is an incredibly self defeating behavior.  This morning, I asked my sweet husband to go for a walk/run with me.  I planned on trying to run for part of the walk, and he was ready to be very patient with me.  As I attempted the first jog of this exercise, my calf muscle cramped up immediately.  I was angry at myself for being so out of shape.  I got mad about everything.  About my weight, well and anything else I could think of.  I took it out on Mike, and I feel bad.  I still want to cry.  I hate this self loathing I feel when I see myself, but for some reason, I can't seem to get it right.  I resent the fact that I have now entered a phase of life where weight is SO much easier to put on, than to take off.  In fact, I am pretty angry, depressed, and unhappy.  As I walked listening to my smart phone spout off my speed, distance, and the number of calories I had burned, I wanted to scream in frustration, because all I could hear was "you haven't even burned off the creamer from your morning coffee, let alone anything extra."  Weight loss...a daily struggle.  I am hoping tomorrow will be better.  I am hoping for some peace with where I am in my fitness struggle, and the strength to push past this horrible feeling of hopelessness, and on to better well being and health for myself and my family.  Prayers and support appreciated...