Time of death...

  Time of death, approximately 8:15 AM.  RIP Dorothy the goldfish.  You have been sent on to your watery grave.  It's official, the death toll from yesterday's pet disaster is up to one fish.  Dogfish has made it through the night, and is still swimming now, so my hopes are high for survival.  I called time of death while getting the children ready for school.  When I realized I had a "floater"  I called Mike in for backup.  I asked him to get the kids ready and dressed in the living room, while I tended to the unfortunate situation.  I did decide to attempt to resuscitate.  A friend at work had told me previously about how her grandmother had brought several fish back from the other side by simply sprinkling salt on their tummies.  After already losing a dog and a cat this year, I was willing to try anything to avoid yet another heartbreaking conversation with my son.  I ran into the kitchen and grabbed the salt shaker.  Mike looked at me like I was insane and said "sushi?? or do you have a bottle of tequila somewhere that you are hiding from me?"  I simply said I would explain later.  I admit, I felt ridiculous, but who can blame a girl for trying?  I sprinkled salt on the fish, and nothing...Ok, now to get the net and flush the fish without the kids seeing me.  It would be my luck, Molly would see that, and flush all of the fish for fun.  Alright, fish flushed.  Now, do I explain what happened, or do I just get another fish?  I am going with another fish, I already know that answer.  But Colin is no dummy.  He has 14 Thomas trains, but he knows exactly which one he wants.  They all look the same to me, but to him, there is a world of difference in each train.  I am almost positive this mission is going to fail, but it is the best option I have.  I ask Mike to drain the aquarium completely, and I plan a covert trip to Petsmart while the kids are at school.

   As I arrive at Petsmart, I know I am in trouble.  All of their goldfish are tiny, and ours had gotten huge.  They were well fed, and had a ten gallon tank to themselves.  It's all I've got, so I pick out a fish that looks like Dorothy(significantly smaller), one that looks like Dogfish(just in case).  I also pick up two catfish to be bottom feeders like I had been meaning to do for months.  Next I whipped down the tank decorations aisle.  I picked out a cool background(pirate themed, sure to be a big hit) and some pretty new blue rocks for the bottom of the tank.  OK, distractions to redirect away from the fact that his fish will be missing.  I get home, dig through the disgusting tank goop, clean it up, put in the new rocks, and add the fish.  Dogfish looks like a giant.  Uggghhhh, so never going to believe this...OK, off to pick up the kids.  I bring them home, and Colin runs in to check out his new aquarium stuff I had talked about on the way home.  "Hey, mommy, where is Dorothy?  I see Dogfish.  I see a little Dorothy, but that isn't her..."  This kid doesn't miss anything.  My friend who is over for the afternoon jumps in with "Dorothy is a girl fish.  She has to be smaller than Dogfish. You know, like Mommy is smaller than Daddy.  Dogfish is the Daddy, Dorothy is the mommy fish, and now they have baby fish"  Colin "ohhhh..."  Amy is now brilliant. Not that I didn't think that about her before. Colin seems to have accepted this answer.  I am not sure that he actually thinks that Dorothy has shrunk, but he has stopped asking about the "old Dorothy," and now I can consider it a small mommy triumph.  He likes his "fish family," and he seems happy enough.  I am sure there will be more questions later, but maybe I can get Amy on speed dial for those as well :)
   Things I have learned from this disaster...One, nothing is EVER out of Molly's reach.  Number two, salt does not resuscitate a fish, at least not one that has been dead all night...number three, with enough new fish, and some fast talking, a toddler can be redirected to ignore the disappearance of his previous goldfish.  Lesson learned, children appeased.  Now to find some tequila to go with that salt...Mommy deserves it after a day like this :)