Mommy hell...

  So, I took the kids to one of those indoor play spaces the other day.  I have decided that it is actually torture to go to one of those places without a friend.  It is a miserable place to be for a mommy.  The children are incredibly difficult to follow, the chaos is every where, the noise is unbearable, and the other parents can be very annoying.  They can be overly attentive or under attentive, unfriendly and cliquey, and just generally a pain.  It is simply much more tolerable with another mommy friend around.  At least you have some one to talk to, and be back up help if it is needed.  But sometimes, it becomes clear that the kids need to burn off some energy, and it is simply too hot to play on a playground.  So, off to Catch Air we go.


    My friend Sandra is off on vacation.  Normally, we handle these places together, but I am on my own for a few more days.  I load up the kids, and head in the direction of Catch Air.  As we arrive, I cringe at the huge crowd inside.  There are at least two birthday parties going on, and plenty of other people as well.  The kids are excited, we put on our socks, and head inside to the play equipment.  They both immediately head in opposite directions.  I pick a table in a central location, and attempt to locate both children.  The kids are already having a blast.  My head is about to explode from the noise alone.  I sit down to watch and observe. I have only been there 10 minutes when I start to look at my watch and wonder how long we have been there.


   Molly is wearing big girl underwear.  This can pose a problem in a place like this.  There are plenty of places for children to hide.  The massive indoor playground is huge, and not very adult friendly.  Once they go in, it is very difficult to find them.  I think this one of the reasons I actually prefer Monkey Joe's.  Smaller equipment, smaller place in general.


   Colin checks in with me whenever he switches to the next piece of equipment.  Molly, on the other hand, loves to hide from me when ever she can.  In fact, She snuck into the linen closet when Mike put her down for a nap on Sunday.  He put her down in her room, and he went back 15 minutes later to check on her.  She was gone...After a several minutes of total panic, he found her asleep on a pile of blankets in the linen closet.  A giant playground full of tunnels and tubes is her idea of heaven.


   Molly sets up camp in the smaller kid area, and I watch her as she plays what appears to be "Tag" in a ball pit area at the top of some stairs.  She attempts to tackle a much larger boy, and I run up the stairs to make my presence known.  I scold her, make her apologize, and head back down the steps.  The stairs in this area are specially made smaller for little kids.  They are also slightly padded.  I say slightly because I got to see just how hard they actually were on my way down.  My sock covered feet flew out from under me, and I fell flat on my right butt cheek.  I am stunned by the fall, and I hop up to try and shake it off.  Four moms are staring at me...one actually asked if I was OK.  I said I was, but I was tempted to see if they had any boo boo ice packs.  I knew that was going to be quite the bruise.  I ease my injured behind back into one of the kiddie chairs at my table, and assume my watchful waiting.


    At one point, I had lost Molly for a few minutes.  I was frustrated, but knew she was in the building some where.  I finally spotted her in one of the windowed tubes at the top of the play area.  I couldn't help but think she had snuck off by herself to poop.  After about 10 minutes of peek a boo in the window, she finally decided to head down the slide.  I was waiting for her at the bottom.  I do an immediate poop check, and I am disappointed to be proven correct.  Off to the bathroom for a wardrobe change.  We return to the floor as I watch the older kids flying around the room at top speed.  I find Colin and give him a 15 minute warning.    I sigh as those long minutes tick by, and I contemplate how I am going to get both children back out to the car.


    Colin reports to my side and states that he is ready to go home.  Of course, Molly heard the word "home" and she bolted in the opposite direction.  I send Colin into the jumpy house to chase his sister.  I know this is not going to go well, but it is my only shot outside of climbing into the jump house myself, and my butt is still hurting from my earlier injury.  I have to laugh quietly as Colin tackles his sister, and drags her by the foot over to the entrance of the jumpy house, saying simply "Here you go mommy, I think she is mad though."  As Molly kicks her brother in protest, I have to resist the urge to say "Thank you Captain Obvious." Not exactly the way I wanted it to go down, but he was successful. I pick her up, carry her out to our shoes, and we all leave.  I glance at my watch, and realize it is only 2:45.  We were only in there for 1 hr 45 minutes.  Dear God...now what do I do for the rest of the day?  Why did that feel like an eternity?  They really need to have  adult beverages available in these places.


   Not only was it incredibly boring, I have a bruise that takes up half of my right butt cheek.  Sadly, I know I will return.  The things we do for our children...Next time though, I am bringing a friend. No mommy should have to tolerate that place alone.  Especially a social being like myself :)