Rotisserie duck anyone??

   Today was a fairly normal day that started with a "Make New Friends" play date at the preschool.  As predicted, we all had difficulty getting out of bed.  Without fail, my son has been out of bed between 7:15 and 7:30 in the morning all summer long.  Of course, on the first day we need to be awake early, both children are sleeping soundly, and I foolishly turn off my alarm.  I knew we would be late, but I hate trying to get all three of us ready in 30 minutes or less.  As usual, the children can sense my urgency, and they attempt to make my life more difficult.  There is nothing worse than a 3 year old girl who is refusing to let you brush her hair or to get dressed. As we load into the car approximately 30 minutes later than I planned, I notice Molly's pigtails are completely crooked, Colin is requesting breakfast, and I have yet to make any coffee.  Things are not going smoothly, but sadly, we are right at par for the course.  We hit the road, and arrive at the preschool about 10 minutes late.  I suppose this was no surprise to Molly's teacher since she taught Colin last year.  That crazy Mrs. Bryan...she is never on time.  Oh well, we made it.  Both children enjoyed seeing their new classrooms and meeting their new teachers.  Colin wanted to go home, and of course, Molly wanted to stay and play on the playground.  It seems that they can never agree on anything these days.  I think they just enjoy making that vein in my forehead start to pulse.


   We returned home after a quick run on the playground for Molly, during which Colin sat and pouted the entire time.  That kid is stubborn.  God forbid he accidentally have fun outside on a play ground...Back home to do the normal stuff.  The normal stuff being a couple of loads of laundry, a load of dishes, and praying that the children fall into a coma for a few hours so that I can actually get some things accomplished around the house(aka sleep for a few hours as well.)  I quickly realize the nap is not going to happen, so I make a pot of coffee, and start texting for afternoon play dates.  We need to get out of this house if we are all going to survive this afternoon.  I make some plans for a picnic at a park, and we head to Costco for 36 croissants that I need for a bridal shower in the morning.  While at Costco, I pick up a pair of blue jeans.  I check the size, and throw in a size 10.  Should fit just fine...off to the bakery, and out the door for our picnic.

    We pull into Laurel park.  The place is packed.  In fact it is busier than I have ever seen it, but no turning back now.  I grab some veggie straws and chocolate chip cookies, my contributions to the picnic, and we head over to meet our friends.  I am still in a cute little skirt and white blouse from our preschool engagement, and Molly is in a sundress as well.  We are not really dressed for a picnic and playground play time.  As we sit down to eat some food, the kids immediately gravitate to the pond to find the ducks and geese.  Tracy has thought to bring stale cereal for the geese.  We ate our last meal completely surrounded by ducks and geese.  They were hungry and persistent.  Today, the water fowl were sparse, but we sent the kids down with cups of cereal all the same.  The ducks chose to ignore the kids.  This frustrated Molly, well, perhaps angered Molly would be a better description.  Molly grabbed a large stick and started to splash in the pond.  Next thing I knew, I watched Molly poke a duck in the butt with her stick.  The duck took off as I was rushing down to scold my daughter.  I took away her stick, and told her to leave the duckies alone.  She said "ok..."  in her sweet little toddler voice.  I came back up to our table and announced that perhaps rotisserie duck was on the menu for the evening as I explained how my daughter nearly skewered a duck.


   The children continued to play at the water's edge, and the ducks continued to hide.  Colin and Molly got bored without any waterfowl to harass, so they started a new mission.  Colin decided to climb a tree that hangs over the pond.  My first thought was "oh, he won't go far, I am sure he will come right back down."  My second thought was "Ok...maybe not."  And my third thought, "How am I going to climb that tree in front of a park full of people in a skirt?"  Suffice it to say, he eventually admitted he was stuck, and I sucked it up, and climbed a tree in cute sandals and a fluffy skirt.  Molly giggled the entire time.  Tracy had taken her girls for a potty break, and returned just in time to see my butt halfway up a tree, dangling over the water.  When I got my feet on solid ground, she was shaking her head, and laughing.  At least she couldn't find her phone fast enough to take a picture.  And trust me, she admitted to looking for her phone.  I am sure there is some unwritten rule in the mommy handbook that states "Thou shalt not provide any photographic evidence of another mommy making an ass out of herself climbing a tree in a skirt."  Or, at least, there should be something similar on the books somewhere...


   By the time we arrived home, we were filthy.  I greeted my husband with a simple "Hello, we need showers, we are all covered in goose poop..."  I can only imagine that was not the greeting he was expecting, but to his credit, he simply offered to start a bath for the kids, and he asked very few questions about the goose excrement.  I love that man.  He even offered me a glass of wine as I described the duck incident.  I suppose, if nothing else, there is never a dull moment while I am around.


PS...I just tried on the jeans...they are way too tight.  I am never eating again.  I suppose I will return them in the morning.  Between all of the vacations and family emergencies, this summer has not gone as I planned.  I was hoping to be skinny, in great shape, running at least five miles, and spend most of my days at the pool with the kids.  Alas, life has gotten in the way, and now those evil jeans I picked up on impulse don't fit.  How dare they make their size 10 so small??  Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.  Meanwhile, I am going to attempt to put the food down yet again.  Why does it have to be so hard??