Sometimes I wonder if it can actually be called insomnia when there are people or animals causing your lack of sleep. I suppose it still qualifies since I sleep so poorly, that smallest thing can wake me. I now understand how my mother could be snoring away, hear me cough in the other room, and jump up to see if I was having an asthma attack. Mommy ears...blessing and a curse. I started my adult life with a night shift position, and I kind of feel like it may have screwed up my sleep forever. I battle with exhaustion all day, and then I have trouble unwinding and falling asleep at the end of the day. Then I take something OTC to help, and I feel hungover and exhausted again the next day. And then there are all of these animals or tiny people that depend on Mommy. They have nightmares, get scared, need to go potty, and wake me up for various reasons. And of course, they also get up earlier than I ever would voluntarily. Two nights ago, it was the perfect storm. I had trouble falling asleep, and the cat proceeded to try and make me insane. He sits on the bedside table, and begs for food, until I get up and open a new can. He woke me several times, in fact, I lost count, but I opened three containers of cat food. I was in a sleep deprived haze, but I have to admit, I began to wonder what was happening with the food. He couldn't possibly be eating all of it. It didn't take too long to figure out what was actually happening. Abby, our incredibly low maintenance dog, started waking me up as well. It is highly unusual for her to wake me, so I assumed it was urgent. I let her outside, and climbed back into bed for the 5th time. Not even an hour later, Abby was crying again. I think I actually started to cry with her. I got up, and let her out, only to discover the poor dog has had diarrhea...all over the floor of my foyer. Awesome. She goes outside, and poops again. Now I feel horrible for shushing the poor dog. I can only conclude that Abby has been eating the canned cat food, and this has caused some serious tummy issues. I glance at my watch, it is 6 am, I have a couple more hours to sleep, so I head back to bed. Molly must have heard the chaos just outside of her room, because in toddles Molly with pink wankie. "Mommy, I want up." Chubby little arms reaching up over the edge of the bed always get me. I pick her up, toss her into bed. She is sadly wide awake. She pats me and says "it's ok mommy, you sleep, I stay up." If only it worked that way kid. I roll over and turn on the baby valium, aka Nick Jr. "ohhh, Dora." Maybe I can just lay here with my eyes closed for a few more minutes.
I give up after a little while, get out of bed, make coffee, and start to get ready for the day. Molly has an appointment with the ENT. I tap Mike and ask him if he could keep Colin while I take her in, but he has to be at the office in a few. Oh well, we get ready, load into the car, and I hand them both chocolate milk sippy cups and Fruit Loops in ziploc bags. Sadly I consider it a small triumph that I managed to remember breakfast at all. Both children are incredibly well behaved at the ENT office. In fact, they were so good, I was worried that all of my good behavior karma was gone for the day. Colin was pleasant and patient, and Molly followed directions like a big girl. I was amazed. She even completed her hearing test with headphones and everything. Somewhere in the back of my overcrowded brain, I remember that the preschool is having a picnic. I send out a text to my friend Sandra to check the time. We are right around the corner from her place and the preschool, so we head to her house to kill time. I am greeted by the smell of freshly baked muffins. This girl makes me look bad all of the time :) She shows me her creation. She has altered a recipe to make it twice as healthy, and it is already a zucchini muffin. She tells me "Well I cut the sugar and salt in half, I cut back on the oil, used egg whites, and doubled the zucchini. That is an acceptable breakfast for them, don't you think?" Me "Of course, but you are asking a woman who just gave her kids sippy cups of chocolate milk and bags of Fruit Loops for breakfast on our way here. I may not be the person to ask." She laughs and shakes her head at me, and I just simply shrug my shoulders and tell her they are tasty muffins, if nothing else.
We caravan to the preschool, and head over to have a picnic lunch with our friends. They have music blaring, bubbles blowing, water spraying, and all you can eat popsicles. The kids were in heaven. They were worn out after their fun day in the sun. We head home to "rest" since neither of mine seem to think they need a nap anymore. We are just getting comfortable on the couch, when I hear a knock at the door. Colin is playing by himself in his room, but Molly is happy to hop up, and greet the person at the door. Sadly, my front door is almost completely glass, so she is waving and talking to the person on the other side. There is no way to ignore it now. I get up off of the couch, and discover the little boy next door. He is only a few months older than Colin, but his grandmother sends him over...by himself...to play with my kids. I have been stuck feeding the kid multiple times, not to mention entertaining him for hours at a time. I am pretty sure that the favor would not be returned either. I open the door, and tell a small fib. I tell him that Colin is actually napping, but maybe we can play a little later. I feel a little guilty, but honestly, I am so tired that I don't even want to watch my own children, and I love them. I certainly don't want watch someone else's kid. Especially since he is a kind of a little know it all...I have got to get a curtain for that front door. After a couple of hours of "rest," I went and knocked on the neighbors door, and invited him to come and play water guns with us in the front yard. As I looked around our front porch, I realized something. I love my mother's day gifts, but what we really needed was a pressure washer for our porch and our decks. When did I become the woman who wants a pressure washer as a gift??
I guess times change. I will totally enjoy my mani/pedi when I get a chance to use it, but as I stare at the dirty front porch, I wonder if the pressure washer might have been much more practical. Now to make a pot of coffee, and possibly head up to Home Depot with the kids to shop for pressure washers. This could prove to be an interesting adventure, but I need to get something before we have people over for Molly's birthday next weekend.
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