Kitty Valium...

  I was reminded last night of a very funny story from a year or two ago, and I thought I would do my best to share it with you today.  My former cat, Oscar, developed a pretty severe thyroid problem and cardiac condition towards the end of his life.  It required frequent vet trips to monitor his blood levels, and adjust his medications accordingly.  He became very skinny, and lost some fur because of his condition, so it was no surprise when my other cat Jerry seemed to be losing weight suddenly and losing fur in clumps.  I simply assumed he had also developed the hyperthyroid condition.  After much internal debate, I decided to be brave and attempt a vet trip with two cats and two toddlers.  Molly was just over a year old, and Colin was very early in the potty training phase during this mission, and a trip with both cats and kids sounded like a suicide mission for all of us involved, but necessary, due to the balding cat that was wasting away before my eyes.  I grabbed the dog carrier, and decided to transport the cats both in the same crate.  All cat owners know that cats can develop extra limbs when being placed in a carrier, and then there is the added challenge of not letting out the first kitty during the placement of the second cat.  But I knew that it would be all I could handle to get in the door with the two kids and the one crate.  I arrived at the vet's office, ran the crate full of pissed off cat into the waiting room first, only to return with both children.  Molly in a stroller, and Colin toddling behind.  We wait patiently for the vet tech to call us to a room.  In the mean time, I offer the bathroom to Colin.  He refuses, and I believe him, because we are early in the potty training process.
   Dr. Blaine enters the room, and I explain that Oscar is there for his usual labs, but that I am concerned that Jerry is developing the same condition.  I explain the hair loss, lost weight, etc...all while running interference for both children.  She pulls Oscar to the back, draws his blood, and returns the first kitty to the box.  Colin and Molly are attempting to escape into the back room, run out into the lobby, and open every cabinet in the office.  I look down as Colin announces "oh no, Mommy...I pee peed."  Fabulous.  I start to change his clothes, all while trying to have a conversation with the doc.  Molly attempts another escape to the back room, right around the time the doc shares her possible diagnosis.  Dr. Blaine states "well, I actually don't think the hair is falling out.  I think he is pulling his fur out.  Perhaps the cat is feeling stressed..."  I reply, with dripping sarcasm, "what does the cat possibly have to be stressed about??"  At that very moment, I was holding Molly's arm while she was pulling in the opposite direction, yelling "kitty, kitty!!", and holding fresh pants for Colin in the other hand, all while sitting on the floor of the vet's office.  Dr. Blaine suggests "Perhaps we should help him out with some meds for his stress levels and some pheromones to help calm him down."  My response "Or maybe he can just be a little bit bald...if anyone in this house is getting meds to help with their stress level, it is going to be me, not the cat.  However, if you would like to prescribe him a little kitty Valium, I can promise you he will get at least half of the dose."  Something tells me, the doctor was not amused, and sadly, I left the office with no meds for my kitty.  However, I did survive the vets office with two cats and two toddlers, and that is saying something :)  RIP Oscar the cat.  I still miss you, and sadly this appointment was when we discovered that Jerry has some form of cancer.  He is still with us, but he is a ghost of the cat he once was.  I fear that he is not long for this world,  and I dread yet another conversation with the kids.