Thank God you are home...I just opened the vodka

  Monday was a long day, and I am pretty positive it had something to do with working until midnight on Sunday night, and coming home to bake 24 cupcakes for Molly's class party the next day.  I went to bed around 2 am on Monday morning after baking and frosting cupcakes, and 7 am came around way too quickly. I awoke to two small children that were not at all interested in going to school.  Molly's Luau and singing presentation was at 10 am, so this meant I needed to be showered and dressed, not just awake and in the car pool line.  I jumped, ok, stumbled into the shower, and contemplated whether or not there was good place for my coffee cup in the shower with me.  Of course, by this point, I just need an IV drip of caffeine started to even keep me going.  I throw on some clothes, dress Molly in a hawaiian dress, get Colin ready, and we all get in the car to head to school.  I walk the kids in to class, drop off the cupcakes, and head back out to the car.  I have about an hour to kill before the program is supposed to start.  I text my friend Sandra with a simple question.  "Starbucks?? I am going through the drive thru." Sandra "Do they have sedatives, or just stimulants?"   Me "oh no, what happened?"  Sandra " It starts with a J and ends with a K.  I would run away from home, but I desperately need a shower first."  Me "It would be nice if there were places to go for sedatives like coffee shops, oh wait...there are, they are called Bars :) Not sure they are open at 9 am."  I pick up two coffees, and show up at her door with my peace offering to my fellow mommy. " Here is your coffee, I promise to turn my head the other direction if you need to add a shot of something."  We head in for the class program and party together since Jack and Molly are in the same class.  The presentation was adorable, and the party went off without a hitch.  No one wanted to wear the leis or grass skirts that I purchased last week, but no big loss.

   The kids and I headed home after school.  Miraculously, Molly took a nap, despite the two cupcakes she had ingested in the last hour.  Colin refused to nap, but he did rest on the couch with me, and we had a little quiet time.  Both kids hit the witching hour full force.  Molly demanded "spaghettios" when she woke up from her nap.  She ate the first bowl quickly, and asked for a second.  I poured some more in her bowl, only to find her wearing the majority of that serving all over herself and her dress.  I stripped her, and put the dress in to soak.  She refused to put clothes back on, so I let her continue to run around naked, wearing one sandal, on her right foot.  She also refused to take the shoe off, or put the other shoe back on.  Fine, not a battle worth fighting.  I made rice and steamed broccoli for dinner.  Molly sat down to eat her second dinner in the buff, and Colin started one of his worst meltdowns in a very long time.  I simply asked him to have two bites of broccoli and rice.  For some reason, this request sent him over the edge.  That and the fact that I refused to let him play "Birds" until he had some of is dinner.  The boy lost his mind...I thought he would never stop crying.  There was snot pouring down his face, and he was shaking he was crying so hard.  The lack of sleep, and the overwhelming tantrum started to wear me down quickly.  I reached to the top of the fridge, pulled down the bottle of whipped cream flavored vodka, and made myself a very strong drink.  Within minutes, my husband enters stage right.  Me "Thank God you are home, I just opened the vodka..."  Mike looked around, trying to take in the entire situation.  Molly greeted him with her one shoe on and nothing else, Colin was huddled in a ball in the corner, sobbing his brains out.  I was standing at the kitchen island, sipping on my beverage of choice.  I am sure we were quite the sight to take in.  Mike grabbed his son, took him onto the porch for a snuggle, and managed to get him slightly settled down.  They both came back in, and had some dinner.  Well, Mike had some dinner, Colin still refused.  In the mean time, I had put Molly in the shower, and started to get ready for bed and Dancing With The Stars.  I offered Mike a drink well after his arrival, and he politely refused, saying that I might need the rest of the vodka.  When I posted this story on Facebook, I said I offered him a drink when he came home.  He quickly pointed out that I had not :)  Our friend Misty said it best..."Mike, its like when a plane is going down, you always put the oxygen mask on yourself first."  So true Misty, so true.  Believe it or not, the rest of the night went pretty well.  Molly and I had a tea party with her princess dolls in our PJs, and Colin and I snuggled while watching DWTS.  Thank goodness for those sweet moments that happen after those crazy days that make you wonder what possessed you to ever have children.  And thank goodness for vodka...and coffee :)  Because sedatives and stimulants are frequently the only way we survive as parents.