Wednesday, October 24, 2012

A squirrel stole my Mcnuggets...

    Sandra and I decided to hit a playground after car pool for a lunch/play date for the kiddos.  Being the fabulously prepared mother that I am, I fixed a well balanced picnic lunch for the entire family...or I might have just pulled though the drive thru at the McDonalds near the playground.  Ok, let's just admit it.  I definitely hit the drive thru for some nuggets and fries, and a Coke Zero for myself.  Sandra had to take her son Jack for a hair cut, so we were on our own for a few at the park.  I sat on a bench, and ate my craptastic lunch.  Well, part of my lunch.  Molly had a few of her nuggets, a couple of fries, and hit the swings as usual.  Mommy reporting for swing duty...I put her into one of the swings, and started to push.

    After Molly swings back and forth a few times, I hear her say, "Hey, No, no squirrel.  That is my lunch."  I look over, and sure enough, there is a huge squirrel eyeing our bag of fast food.  I walk over, and shoe away two squirrels from our stuff.  They quickly return, and I chase them off yet again.  The big one...He has a bad eye.  Pink, gross, looks infected.  Icky.  I think of a line from Sex in the City when Carrie says that squirrels are just rats with better accessories.  He may have a bad eye, but something tells me this guy is used to Mcdonalds leftovers.  I mean, every animal at this park is well fed, but this guy is particularly fat and slow.  I roll the bag up, move our drinks a little closer to us.  Now back to pushing my daughter and helping my son pretend to be a Ninja Warrior.

    I managed to keep our food clear for the first 15 minutes or so.  Then, I dropped a fry on the ground when I went over to sneak a little snack.  Our little one eyed friend was waiting for it to hit the ground.  He might not have perfect vision, but he knew when the goods were within reach.  He snatched up the fry and looked at me with triumph.  I shook my head, and figured he earned that one.

    I don't know if they were working as a team, but next thing I knew, Colin was playing "Chase the Squirrels."  I was mildly amused by the fact that they were all fat and slow enough that Colin had a decent chance of catching one.  While his friends were busy distracting us, One Eyed Willy had snuck over to the remains of our lunch.  By the time I had noticed, the little sneak thief had taken a fry and a nugget.  He ran by, stopped right in front of me, and waved them both in the air.  It was as if he was rubbing it in.  Damn Squirrel...Well, at least he spared me from remaining fatty calories in the bag.  Try to think positive Heidi...So I go over to grab my Coke Zero.  And then I see it.  Insult to injury.  There is a squirrel running across the playground with my straw in his mouth.  He stopped, and used his little arms to wave it at me.  Now that ticked me off.  I can live without cold chicken nuggets and fries, but dude stole my caffeine refreshment, and he totally did it out of spite.  And I thought the geese were annoying at this park.  Don't ever piss off the squirrels...

2 comments: