Yep...that just happened

   As if every other day around here isn't a little crazy.  I tried to complete some errands and Christmas shop with both kids today.  I miss my stroller days.  Five point restraints are the best thing that happened to mothers everywhere.  Without my stroller, a tiny little dachshund sized shock collar would be my next best bet.  Molly never stops moving.  Ever. Period.  The child is enough to exhaust even a marathon runner (which I am not, I might add.)

   It all started with Colin's Christmas program at school.  Molly was simply not going to sit still.  It was painful.  I don't have a single video of them singing without Molly grabbing at my arm, begging to hold the camera, or simply attempting to sing along with them(which was actually pretty cute, if I hadn't been trying to keep her from running on stage the entire time.)  Parents watched me with a combination of sympathy and horror.  I hate that feeling.  That feeling like you have no idea what to do to make your own child stop doing what she is doing, and that you are at their complete mercy if you actually want to watch your other child sing.

   Of course, the nightmare did not end there.  I had to drive all the way to Buford to pick up my adorable, handmade owl hat that I had ordered for Molly.  It was going to take over an hour to get there.  Fabulous, but at least the DVD player can keep them entertained for a while in the car.  By the time we started to get close to our destination, Colin was asking if Molly's hat was in the "Lost City."  I have no idea exactly what he meant, so I simply agreed.  Then Molly asked where the "Lost City" was??  I replied that it must be in Canada :)  No offense intended for my friends that live out in that direction.  I live pretty far out in the suburbs as well, just the other direction.  So when you put those together, it makes for a very long drive.  I was meeting the girl who made the hat at a Hobby Lobby.  As we enter the store, I know I am in for it.  Right at the front of the store is a display of both Angry Birds and Hello Kitty.  Me being the sucker that I am left with both a new bird and a ballerina Hello Kitty.  It was as if the store knew my kids were coming, and set up those shelves just for us. Kryptonite.  Outside of the extra $20 bucks I spent, my mission was at least complete.  I left with a false sense of security that led me to believe that I could attempt some further Christmas shopping.

    Mike wants a treadmill or an elliptical for Christmas, so I decided to hit Play it Again Sports as my next stop.  By the time we got back to my side of town, it was already 4 pm.  Barrett Parkway was a mess.  It took me 20 minutes just to get a couple of miles.  We head into the store, and I can tell already this was a horrible plan.  Both kids light up at the sight of all of the shiny things that they shouldn't touch.  Treadmills, ellipticals, free weights, golf clubs...you name it.  Tons of things that could cause massive injury and destruction.  I am just price checking at this point, and despite the fact that I have two toddlers of destruction with me, this guy makes it his mission to sell me a treadmill, and tell me all about the quality of each one.  How can he not tell that I need the abbreviated version??  He even offered to turn on a couple of the treadmills and let the kids run on them.  Yeah...that is an awesome idea.  Just what every mommy needs.  Her kid to faceplant and require stitches or dental work.  I shook my head to his offer, while holding Molly under my arm, flailing limbs everywhere.  I finally put her down, and she seemed highly entertained by a putting green nearby.  She and Colin are putting golf balls in the hole, and seem OK for few.  I continue to clarify a few things about the treadmills they did have for sale since they seem occupied.  And then it happened.  I looked over just in time to see Molly struggling to pull down her pants.  We are already at half mast when I am able to reach her.  I don't know if she was planning to drop trow and pee on the putting green, or if she just thought she needed a little air.  Who knows with this little one??  I tackle her, pull up her pants, and ask directions to the nearest bathroom.

    So I think it goes without saying that the remainder of my Christmas shopping will be done online or sans kids.  I think the fact that I am sipping spiced sangria while writing this post should also not need any further explanation.  Molly is trying to steal my drink while I type.  Does it make me a bad parent for almost letting her have it?? Maybe she would sleep a little better? Maybe it would slow her down?? Of course, she would probably be a mean drunk.  Nobody needs that.  Oh, and did I mention??  She seems to have lost her pajama pants already.