"Mommy!!! Colin peed on me..."

  OK...So it is safe to say I have heard plenty of absurd things during my almost six years of parenting.  In fact, I have been forced to say some very absurd things.  This week has been no different.  There have been several phrases that have escaped my lips this week that I would have never guessed that I would need to say out loud...ever.  Things like "Molly, Do Not bite your toenails!" This was of course followed by a lengthy explanation of why that is considered "icky" and a simple reminder that Mommy has toenail clippers and I that would be happy to help.  I have always wondered why her toenails never seemed to need to be trimmed...
 
    I had to remind Colin that there is a fine line between tickling and torturing your sister.  He didn't agree.  He was confused by the lack of laughter.  I have pulled them off of each other, stopped multiple wrestling matches, and stopped what could only be compared to ultimate kid cage fighting.  They both look surprised when I say things like "Get off your sister!!" and "Your brother is not a horse, please get off his back."  I know they think I am ruining their fun, but I am simply intervening to prevent the inevitable tears.  And sometimes, I just let it happen.  Sometimes, I let them learn the hard way.  Perhaps the strong will survive??

   Of course nothing prepared me for the conversation we had this morning.  It went a little something like this...
Molly "Mommy, I have to go peepee."
Me "Well then go silly..." (cooking breakfast involving actual bacon which requires a great deal of concentration to avoid third degree burns on my face and hands)
Molly "OK"
Mike "Molly, why are you in the living room??  I thought you needed to go potty."
Molly "Oh yeah, I do need to go peepee." (running down the hallway to the bathroom)
Colin "I need to go peepee too Mommy."
Me "Well then go bud, what are you waiting on?" (still frying bacon and occasionally, quietly cursing at the pan)
Molly "Hey!!!!  Mommy, Colin peed on me!!!"
Me (stopped with bacon long enough to comprehend what was being said) "What??"
Molly "Colin peed on me and the floor, but not in the potty."
Me "Colin...come here please.  Did you pee on your sister?"
Colin "Ummmm, no. I peed on my sock and on the floor, but not Molly."
Me "Molly, did Colin pee on you?"
Molly "Yep."
Me "Colin, Molly says you peed on her. Why did you pee on your sister?"
Colin "Well, I needed to pee, and she was in the way."
Me (shaking my head) "Colin, we have to wait our turn for the potty.  If your sister is on the potty, you wait your turn, or use the other potty."
Colin "The other bathroom is the adult bathroom...not for kids."
Me "You are always allowed to use our bathroom Colin, especially if the other one is being used.  It is never OK to pee on your sister."
Colin "OK Mommy..."
Mike "Are you sure he peed on Molly??"
Me "Yeah, I don't think she made that up dear.  But why we ever needed to explain that one out loud, I will never understand..."


PS...Colin is rocking the Kindergarten thing :)  He loves it.  Molly is still a little lonely, but her school starts very soon.  Of course, if he keeps peeing on her, she might miss him a little less...