The Bryan Kids 2014

The Bryan Kids 2014

Monday, March 12, 2012

I'm sorry, she pooped where???

   Molly, Molly, Molly....Seriously??  How do you come up with this stuff?  Of course, while I was at work this weekend, because this is when the really good stuff happens, Molly gave us a wonderful little surprise.  Mike called me while I was running around at work, and for a moment, I was really hoping I hadn't heard him correctly.  Mike reported, while laughing, that Molly had pooped in the air conditioner vent.  We have floor vents, and they can be removed, and there is a vent right behind my son's train table.  Apparently, Molly either removed the floor vent, and tried to poop in the hole, or, she pooped on the floor, and attempted to hide the evidence.  I am not sure which I would rather it be, but I promise you, if I start to smell anything off in my house, I will know where to start looking.  I suppose it is a casualty of war that is to be expected during potty training, but never in my life would have imagined cleaning poop out of air vents.
    Recently, we have also had two "tub poop" incidents.  Somehow, Colin has only ever managed to poop in the bathtub one time in his four years.  Molly is making up for this.  The other night, both kids were in the tub,  and I heard sounds of trouble.  Lots of splashing, and Colin saying "ewwww, Mommy, help!!!"  Colin apparently didn't want to wait for me.  He quickly abandoned ship, and I found him streaking down the hall way, sadly, tracking brown footprints on the carpet.  I grabbed him, threw him in the shower, turned the water on, and went back to check on the poopy princess.  Not only had she pooped in the tub, she had scooped it out, thrown in on the bath mat, and happily pointed to her prize saying "poop."  I grabbed the other contaminated child, put her in the shower, and proceeded to clean the bath tub.  And the bath mats, and my carpet...My glamorous life.
   On a completely different note, she seems to be going pee pee in the potty pretty consistently, as long as she is in an "al fresco" situation. At least with little girls, you can just put them in dresses with no underwear on.  I watched Colin run around in just a t shirt for almost 6 months while he was really getting the potty thing under control.  It is a slightly more modest approach this time around, but honestly, the girl still prefers nothing at all.  And I hope she doesn't get used to the skirts with no underwear, because we all know that could lead to some poor assumptions of character in her later years.  I will say, she is very good about carrying her pee pee to the potty every time, and flushing.  Colin never showed any interest in cleaning up the frog potty after he used it, so this is a welcome change.
   Earlier I heard her doing her flash cards on my phone.  It shows a picture of an animal and makes an animal sound, and then tells you the name of the animal.  I heard chicken noises, and Molly proudly announces "chicken nugget!"  I shake my head, and tell her "no Molly, it is just a chicken, at least until Chick fil A gets a hold of it."  I also found her in my shower attempting to shave her legs and her face earlier this week.  I thought the razors were way out of reach, but she always seems to find the one thing she shouldn't have in any situation.  I also told her "No Molly, razors are for grown ups, you could get hurt.  But I hope you never have to shave your face.."
     Last weekend, while I was at work, I got a call from the husband before I had even made it to the hospital. Molly had found my steroid ointment, and squeezed it out all over our bedside table.  He was concerned medically, and I told him to just clean her up, and clean it off the table, and she would be fine.  Ten minutes later I get another phone call.  "While I was cleaning the ointment, they dumped out the bag of Splenda in the pantry."  Awesome,  "I am sorry babe, just clean it up, and keep going."  Five minutes later, another phone call. "Aaarrrghhhh, while I was cleaning the Splenda, they dumped out the bag of coffee."  Me "I am very sorry babe, I don't know what to tell you.  They are in rare form, but I have an active labor patient that needs her epidural, so have fun with that."  Truthfully, the only thing I really took away from that conversation was that I had nothing left to make coffee in the morning, and wondered how it was possible that they picked two of the most precious commodities in my pantry to dump on the floor.  Before I ended the conversation with Mike, who was ranting about what a horrible day he was having, I laughed, and simply said "I guess you haven't been reading my blog.  That isn't a bad day, that is just par for the course."

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